The Suarez Of The Lambs

Luis Suárez

Luis Suárez (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So boxer Mike Tyson finally made a disciple in sports cannibalism. Are both descendants of Dracula? But disciple Luis Suarez is a soccer player—and worse than Tyson. Tyson only bit Hollyfield and only him. Suarez’s latest victim was his third.

‘”Believe me, you don’t want Luis Suárez inside of your head.” And you definitely don’t want him in the World Cup, from which Suarez has now been suspended.

‘Replacing famed cannibal Hannibal Lecter with famed biter Luis Suarez, while turning Jodie Foster into a “FIFA agent,” seems a perfect fit for the Oscar-winning movie. Is it fair to compare a cannibalistic psychopath to Hannibal Lecter? Or is it more fitting, perhaps, to put the striker in a “Charlie bit my finger” parody? You decide…’

‘Uruguay striker Luis Suarez may be brushed aside for the rest of the World Cup after he bit Italian defender Giorgio Chiellini in a match this afternoon. The incident happened late in Uruguay’s 1-0 victory over Italy, which knocked the 2006 World Cup champs out of contention and takes Suarez and company to the next stage.

‘Perhaps, the best part is when Suarez, whom Connor Simpson named “the most evil piece of garbage in the game today” in our World Cup preview, acts like he was hurt on the play.

‘This isn’t out of character for Suarez. While the striker is known for his prowess in scoring hat tricks for Liverpool, he’s probably more famous for biting other players. This at least the third incident in his career where he’s been caught biting opponent during games, a new kind of hat trick…’

•Suárez was fined £66,000 and is now banned from entering any stadium


About DigitalPlato

Poch is a Bookrix author and a freelance writer. He is a frequent contributor to TED Conversations.
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